My favorite message of the movie Monsters, Inc. is the part about the power of a child's laughter being able to energize whole city blocks. If that were true, the bug is currently supplying the state of California with an abundance of free, renewable energy.
Scarcely a phone call goes by without her full-on belly laughs filling up the background. I swear I can feel the electricity all the way over here on the other side of the country.
She laughs at a lot. From her holding up a WubbaNub to the light, to rolling around on the bed.
She's also talking more, and with inflection. With only one tooth, that must be quite a sight, too. Apparently, she can also tell when conversation at the dinner table isn't focusing on her. So, she pulls focus with her banshee calls.
Is there such a thing as a baby laughing too much? Is it, like, a symptom... of something? I prefer to think of it as a frequent reminder to focus on the joyful moments of life and get all you can out of them.
Showing posts with label talking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label talking. Show all posts
06 March, 2012
02 December, 2011
What We Have Here is a Failure...
Family on Friday!!!
As everyone over the age of Sesame Street can tell you, communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. This blog has already touched upon communication during the Table Time series, but table time is more than communication and communication goes beyond table time.
Familial relationships can suffer the most during a communication breakdown. Walls are naturally and appropriately built between generations. Spouses fall prey to the fallacy that they already know everything there is to know about one another. Siblings come to a point where they don't want everything to be known about them. Now that's all well and good, but... everything in moderation.
Habitual non-communication can lead to misunderstandings can lead to distrust can lead to injury can lead to a family not being a family. The longer you allow the bad communication to take over, the harder it will be to get back on track. If you're coming up with ideas of what you can do better rather than what other family members need to do, you're off to a good start.
Children that see their parents communicating effectively are more likely to communicate willingly. Would you open up to a boss that has a reputation for getting too upset, responding harshly, or talking when they should be listening? I mean if you didn't have to.
If you'll permit me to generalize on gender types: Women need to stop with the attitude that they shouldn't have to verbalize and that the other person should just know. Men need to stop thinking that asking for help or discussing emotions emasculates them in some way.
The more we can all recognize that other people are separate beings with separate lives, bridged through relationships created by communication, and that we are all people experiencing ninety-five percent (my own completely arbitrary figure pulled out of thin air with no statistical backing) identical circumstances, then the easier it will be to throw gender types out the window and just be ourselves.
Opening up the pathways of communication will rectify a wide range of ills. Try it. All you have to lose are those misconceptions your family may have of you.
As everyone over the age of Sesame Street can tell you, communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. This blog has already touched upon communication during the Table Time series, but table time is more than communication and communication goes beyond table time.
Familial relationships can suffer the most during a communication breakdown. Walls are naturally and appropriately built between generations. Spouses fall prey to the fallacy that they already know everything there is to know about one another. Siblings come to a point where they don't want everything to be known about them. Now that's all well and good, but... everything in moderation.
Habitual non-communication can lead to misunderstandings can lead to distrust can lead to injury can lead to a family not being a family. The longer you allow the bad communication to take over, the harder it will be to get back on track. If you're coming up with ideas of what you can do better rather than what other family members need to do, you're off to a good start.
Children that see their parents communicating effectively are more likely to communicate willingly. Would you open up to a boss that has a reputation for getting too upset, responding harshly, or talking when they should be listening? I mean if you didn't have to.
If you'll permit me to generalize on gender types: Women need to stop with the attitude that they shouldn't have to verbalize and that the other person should just know. Men need to stop thinking that asking for help or discussing emotions emasculates them in some way.
The more we can all recognize that other people are separate beings with separate lives, bridged through relationships created by communication, and that we are all people experiencing ninety-five percent (my own completely arbitrary figure pulled out of thin air with no statistical backing) identical circumstances, then the easier it will be to throw gender types out the window and just be ourselves.
Opening up the pathways of communication will rectify a wide range of ills. Try it. All you have to lose are those misconceptions your family may have of you.
28 October, 2011
Advocacy of Table Time (Part IV)
Family on Friday!!!
I first started the Family on Friday postings with a simple little suggestion about having table time without screens and calls. Gussie responded to said post with a reminder that not all families can find the time to come to the table. I responded with a post explaining the kind of busy life where taking the time to sit is nearly impossible, but consequentially more important. In spite of the very busy life I led, table time remained an integral part of my relationships and I followed with a post in that regard. In fact, I continue to practice table time with wifey, our bug, and often grandma, too. And we just don't really have the same schedule anymore...
So. What is table time? Is it like flight time? Hang time? Well, it sure is worth explaining. Allow me to start by paraphrasing a part of the book "Three Cups of Tea" about Greg Mortenson building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As you can imagine, there are some challenges for an American to build anything, let alone secular schools in those two countries. During his early efforts, his host explained to him that he must make time for three cups of tea in order make progress. The first time they have tea, they are strangers, the second time, they are honored guests, and the third time they become family.
The more time you can spend sitting at a table with someone and really be there with them, the closer you get to that person. You don't have to drink tea, eat, or play a game. Those things certainly help. But, if you can just pull up a chair and talk for half an hour, more power to you. It should be said that there are good ways to have table time and bad ways.
Good ways (not every good way, but you'll get the idea):
I first started the Family on Friday postings with a simple little suggestion about having table time without screens and calls. Gussie responded to said post with a reminder that not all families can find the time to come to the table. I responded with a post explaining the kind of busy life where taking the time to sit is nearly impossible, but consequentially more important. In spite of the very busy life I led, table time remained an integral part of my relationships and I followed with a post in that regard. In fact, I continue to practice table time with wifey, our bug, and often grandma, too. And we just don't really have the same schedule anymore...
So. What is table time? Is it like flight time? Hang time? Well, it sure is worth explaining. Allow me to start by paraphrasing a part of the book "Three Cups of Tea" about Greg Mortenson building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As you can imagine, there are some challenges for an American to build anything, let alone secular schools in those two countries. During his early efforts, his host explained to him that he must make time for three cups of tea in order make progress. The first time they have tea, they are strangers, the second time, they are honored guests, and the third time they become family.
The more time you can spend sitting at a table with someone and really be there with them, the closer you get to that person. You don't have to drink tea, eat, or play a game. Those things certainly help. But, if you can just pull up a chair and talk for half an hour, more power to you. It should be said that there are good ways to have table time and bad ways.
Good ways (not every good way, but you'll get the idea):
- Ask specific, open ended questions (not answerable with one syllable) like "What happened with that diorama you've been working on?" or "What would you like to do this weekend?" or even "Why have you been so happy lately?"
- Listen to the whole response. Try for follow up questions before you get going on your diatribe.
- Steer the attitudes toward the positive. Nothing stirs up indigestion or shrinks an appetite better than negativity. If someone just can't seem to break away from the gripe, call them out on it. Then ask if they can hold off their bad mood for another hour.
- Keep the world off the table. Yes, it's bad. Everyone knows. So, chances are you're just preaching to the choir and they're tired of the sermon. See previous tip.
- You're not at work. Don't talk shop or give the office any free time at the table. I'm sure it's interesting, frustrating, and/or amusing that Harvey used two helical couplings on the trans-spherical drop module and really shot the torque on that puppy through the roof, but save it for another time. Really.
- Get all nostalgic on your peeps. Times may not be all that great and talking about the now could be a violation of the rules. Then find a time that can get you laughing. Go back to before the kids were born if you have to.
- If all else fails, talk in movie/Monty Python quotes. See how long you can keep a convo going using only the quotes you know.
- Complaining. About anything. Kids will remember and resent that. If all the parents do is spend the time at the table talking about how bad working is, what kind of attitude will the kids have toward finding work? If you don't like the food, find a constructive way to alter the meal plan. "You know what would go great with this chicken and rice? Lasagna!"
- Gag order. Eating in silence is a gateway torture.
- Eating is something every living organism needs to do on a daily basis to survive. Don't make eating a directive, punishment, contest, bargaining chip, political movement, spectacle, or personality assessment.
- The Table Time Mandate. Sure. Dinner might be at five-thirty every night. But, you have to account for reality. Table time won't be the same every night and trying to make it that way will diminish its appreciation. Take into account that there will be nights (or mornings) when there is something else to do. Allow that and plan as a family for the next meal/game time.
25 October, 2011
Ahhhbuuuum Eeoieeeee
The bug turns four months today.
Sure. Yeah. Not exactly a reason to bust out with a cake. But, then again, any excuse for a cake is a good excuse. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of hype to the fourth month milestone. (Just the typical photo of baby doing Upward-Facing Dog)
Perhaps the fourth month changes are just not that easily captured in a photo. All the motor skills and balancing and dexterity are starting, but not quite there. It's a fun stage. Exciting for both parent and child as we feed off each other's joy that "Ooo. That was two seconds of sitting up by yourself. If you hadn't looked over at the cat so fast, you might have stayed up longer." or "Yay! You just grabbed the toy with both hands and put it right in your mouth (I can already see where today's encouragement becomes tomorrow's bane)." Especially seeing the bug light up when she realizes she's more capable makes the fourth month a big step in my eyes.
I've seen her frustrated at her limitations for quite a while now. Her noticing when she's not as limited is new. She'll try something (grab for a toy, try to right herself before toppling over, laugh while exhaling...) and it will work out the way she intended it to (for the most part). That's when her eyes get wide and her jaw drops. I crack up. She smiles real big and does the four-limb shimmy.
One big, important development - talking. Not really talking, per se. It's more of an incessant rambling of vowels with the occasional soft consonant thrown in to keep the listener on his/her toes. Kinda like the news. Where it gets difficult is when she wakes up for a bottle around three in the morning and gets all chatty.
I sit her in front of me (on the Boppy, on my lap, on the glider rocker) and listen while she regales me with what is clearly a rather amusing account of something. I listen politely, playing the dumb foreigner by smiling, nodding, and generally pretending like I'm following along when, in fact, I'm waiting for her to run out of steam. The other night, after a particularly edge-of-your-seat dramedy played for thirty minutes, I swear I heard her say, "Now let me tell you about my second minute of life."
If you've ever rented a Czechoslovakian comedy without subtitles by mistake, you have a pretty good idea of what I'm working with. Not that I mind, say, around three in the afternoon. For that matter, if I'm not trying to get back to sleep, I'll join in and we'll have long father-daughter talks using sounds that would make the Teletubbies scratch their heads.
It does beg the question. How long can one engage in baby babble without it compromising the integrity of one's novel writing? Considering I'm going for the commercial voice and eschewing the literary, I'll take my chances. Wouldn't want to miss out on any of the bug's stories.
Sure. Yeah. Not exactly a reason to bust out with a cake. But, then again, any excuse for a cake is a good excuse. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of hype to the fourth month milestone. (Just the typical photo of baby doing Upward-Facing Dog)
Perhaps the fourth month changes are just not that easily captured in a photo. All the motor skills and balancing and dexterity are starting, but not quite there. It's a fun stage. Exciting for both parent and child as we feed off each other's joy that "Ooo. That was two seconds of sitting up by yourself. If you hadn't looked over at the cat so fast, you might have stayed up longer." or "Yay! You just grabbed the toy with both hands and put it right in your mouth (I can already see where today's encouragement becomes tomorrow's bane)." Especially seeing the bug light up when she realizes she's more capable makes the fourth month a big step in my eyes.
I've seen her frustrated at her limitations for quite a while now. Her noticing when she's not as limited is new. She'll try something (grab for a toy, try to right herself before toppling over, laugh while exhaling...) and it will work out the way she intended it to (for the most part). That's when her eyes get wide and her jaw drops. I crack up. She smiles real big and does the four-limb shimmy.
One big, important development - talking. Not really talking, per se. It's more of an incessant rambling of vowels with the occasional soft consonant thrown in to keep the listener on his/her toes. Kinda like the news. Where it gets difficult is when she wakes up for a bottle around three in the morning and gets all chatty.
I sit her in front of me (on the Boppy, on my lap, on the glider rocker) and listen while she regales me with what is clearly a rather amusing account of something. I listen politely, playing the dumb foreigner by smiling, nodding, and generally pretending like I'm following along when, in fact, I'm waiting for her to run out of steam. The other night, after a particularly edge-of-your-seat dramedy played for thirty minutes, I swear I heard her say, "Now let me tell you about my second minute of life."
If you've ever rented a Czechoslovakian comedy without subtitles by mistake, you have a pretty good idea of what I'm working with. Not that I mind, say, around three in the afternoon. For that matter, if I'm not trying to get back to sleep, I'll join in and we'll have long father-daughter talks using sounds that would make the Teletubbies scratch their heads.
It does beg the question. How long can one engage in baby babble without it compromising the integrity of one's novel writing? Considering I'm going for the commercial voice and eschewing the literary, I'll take my chances. Wouldn't want to miss out on any of the bug's stories.
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