What We Have Here is a Failure...

Family on Friday!!!

As everyone over the age of Sesame Street can tell you, communication is the cornerstone of any relationship.  This blog has already touched upon communication during the Table Time series, but table time is more than communication and communication goes beyond table time.

Familial relationships can suffer the most during a communication breakdown.  Walls are naturally and appropriately built between generations.  Spouses fall prey to the fallacy that they already know everything there is to know about one another.  Siblings come to a point where they don't want everything to be known about them.  Now that's all well and good, but... everything in moderation.

Habitual non-communication can lead to misunderstandings can lead to distrust can lead to injury can lead to a family not being a family.  The longer you allow the bad communication to take over, the harder it will be to get back on track.  If you're coming up with ideas of what you can do better rather than what other family members need to do, you're off to a good start.

Children that see their parents communicating effectively are more likely to communicate willingly.  Would you open up to a boss that has a reputation for getting too upset, responding harshly, or talking when they should be listening?  I mean if you didn't have to.

If you'll permit me to generalize on gender types:  Women need to stop with the attitude that they shouldn't have to verbalize and that the other person should just know.  Men need to stop thinking that asking for help or discussing emotions emasculates them in some way.

The more we can all recognize that other people are separate beings with separate lives, bridged through relationships created by communication, and that we are all people experiencing ninety-five percent (my own completely arbitrary figure pulled out of thin air with no statistical backing) identical circumstances, then the easier it will be to throw gender types out the window and just be ourselves.

Opening up the pathways of communication will rectify a wide range of ills.  Try it.  All you have to lose are those misconceptions your family may have of you.

Don't Play Nice

Writer's Wednesday!!!

In Enigma's song "The Rivers of Belief," the lyrics say "If you believe in light, it's because of obscurity.  If you believe in joy, it's because of sadness.  And if you believe in God, it's because of the devil."

Opposing forces create conflict.  Conflict raises tension.  Tension invokes an emotional response.  Emotional responses separate bad writing from good writing.  If you've ever teared up during a Budweiser Super Bowl ad with a Clydesdale, you know what I'm talking about even if you don't know you know it.  Anything you write means more when there's risk involved.

Try to see how long you can keep the opposing forces separate, but affecting one another through their actions.  This not only escalates the tension, but builds a great amount of anticipation for their inevitable meeting.  (brilliant example: "Heat" directed by Michael Mann)  Constant bombardment of combat involving the opposing forces can be entertaining, but every direct contact releases that tension and it can be difficult to recreate.

Also be aware of easy, trite, random, or overused resolutions.  They not only invalidate your conflict and writing up to that point, but they also condemn your soul to an eternity of having your elbows banged up against the corner of your desk.  The resolution must come from your main character, demonstrate real growth, and be so organic to your story that everyone will know exactly what story everyone else is talking about just on the briefest of mentions.  (except lame random ones like falling frogs)

In real life, we learn and grow from our conflicts.  Your characters should, too.  If your character is not undeniably changed after overcoming the conflict he/her/they faced, then the conflict wasn't big enough or you cheated on the resolution.  Most people avoid conflict because of a fear of the change that must come from learning and growing.  This can be a very natural and sympathetic conflict for your character to overcome before the final conflict - Refusing to change.

There are as many different ways to create and resolve conflicts as there are people, forces, and ideals.  This post is meant more as a tip to make sure you have conflict.  See how much you can throw at your character before they snap.  Really test his/her/their metal.  The easier you are on them, the harder it will be for readers to care.

Does anyone out there have a favorite story that didn't have conflict?  Anyone?  Anyone?