Writers' Wednesday!!!
If you've ever written in earnest, you've reached a place where no word seems to fit and the thesaurus is no help. A perfect time to invent a word.
Inventing words requires an above average understanding of how phonetics invoke emotional responses and often the use of a wide variety of prefixes and suffixes.
If I told you a puettrangilia is a type of flower, could you describe it? It doesn't matter if everyone reaches the same description. Chances are that the writer would mention its characteristic attributes.
David encountered a nevsist while crossing the park earlier today. Is that a good or a bad thing?
How many different ways can you use conmotraflict in a sentence?
The key to communication is ensuring that the person receiving the communication understands what the sender means by the words s/he uses. That's how malapropisms can go unnoticed and aposiopesis doesn't doom conversations to an endless waiting game.
Context and character reactions can go a long way in defining new words. Maybe a new use for an old word is what you really need. The process of inventing the perfect word can even help you decide which existing word fits best.
Lexigenesis also serves as a welcome and fun distraction to staring helplessly at the wall.
Now, inventing words and having them catch on... that's a different challenge entirely.
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
14 March, 2012
02 March, 2012
And In This Corner... Part III
Family on Friday!!!
Last week we continued discussing resolving confrontation within the family by underlining the importance of not escalating a bad situation by losing control of your anger.
Let's get the cliches out of the way: You can't fight fire with fire. You don't want to pour gasoline on the fire. You shouldn't fan the flames. You wouldn't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. And so on and so forth.
How about this? Don't piss on the fire that's cooking your food.
When a member of your family is obviously upset (even lashing out at you) and you have already acknowledged their feelings, apologized for you part in their pain, and reminded them that your position comes from your love for them, the next big step is to carefully consider what they want.
S/he may have a point. You could very well be wrong. (And just because you're wrong, doesn't mean they're right.) As long as you haven't brought down the thunder with ultimatums, decrees, and gavel smacks, you still have a chance at incorporating what your family member wants without looking like a flopping fool.
A few suggestions for finding out their true wishes: Ask them to calmly explain why they feel their position is superior. Ask them if something else had upset them. Ask them for their input to a compromise.
It's important to note that if you are going compromise or even agree that your family member's idea is better, that you only do so after they have calmed down. This minimizes the chance of justifying their angry outbursts.
There is still a good chance that they are way off base and will have to obey your law to the letter. If you checked your anger, allowed them to express themselves, and at least made a demonstration of considering that eating ice cream in bed might be an acceptable alternative to putting away their things, you've at least simmered the confrontation down significantly.
Some confrontations reach an impasse. Can you act angry without being angry, even if you are angry? We'll see next week.
Last week we continued discussing resolving confrontation within the family by underlining the importance of not escalating a bad situation by losing control of your anger.
Let's get the cliches out of the way: You can't fight fire with fire. You don't want to pour gasoline on the fire. You shouldn't fan the flames. You wouldn't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. And so on and so forth.
How about this? Don't piss on the fire that's cooking your food.
When a member of your family is obviously upset (even lashing out at you) and you have already acknowledged their feelings, apologized for you part in their pain, and reminded them that your position comes from your love for them, the next big step is to carefully consider what they want.
S/he may have a point. You could very well be wrong. (And just because you're wrong, doesn't mean they're right.) As long as you haven't brought down the thunder with ultimatums, decrees, and gavel smacks, you still have a chance at incorporating what your family member wants without looking like a flopping fool.
A few suggestions for finding out their true wishes: Ask them to calmly explain why they feel their position is superior. Ask them if something else had upset them. Ask them for their input to a compromise.
It's important to note that if you are going compromise or even agree that your family member's idea is better, that you only do so after they have calmed down. This minimizes the chance of justifying their angry outbursts.
There is still a good chance that they are way off base and will have to obey your law to the letter. If you checked your anger, allowed them to express themselves, and at least made a demonstration of considering that eating ice cream in bed might be an acceptable alternative to putting away their things, you've at least simmered the confrontation down significantly.
Some confrontations reach an impasse. Can you act angry without being angry, even if you are angry? We'll see next week.
14 December, 2011
Miles of Writing
Writers' Wednesday!!!
When I've tutored students (mostly college) in writing their papers, or virtually any homework that involved the use of at least four punctuation marks, one common difficulty stuck out. They didn't want to write. I was brought in not so that I could pull their teeth out, but so that I could get a grade that had no bearing on my G.P.A.
They had done all the preparations (research, outlines, references, etc.) and knew what they were writing about. A few of them even had first drafts that they were trying to revise from their teacher's notes.
What did they need me for?
After about ten minutes, they got the drift that I wasn't going to do their work like some Brian-from-Breakfast-Club-left-hanging-with-a-sheet-of-paper-whilst-everyone-else-was-hooking-up. I've read enough to know that everyone has a particular way of writing. Their own lexicon, sentence structure, and tone. Voice. Any teacher, especially English professors, would know from the first paragraph who authored the paper.
Remarkably few students got reinvested and stuck it out, with me helping, to finish the whole paper. Most of them just saw how I kick started them and excused me as they took care of the rest.
All of us had to write papers going through school. Effective communication is a highly prized job skill across the board. Not all of us had to take singing classes, though we all use our voice. (I guess few care how we sing in the car.)
So why do all disciplines require a high degree of proficiency in a skill set from one particular occupation? Is being a writer somehow "less" because so many other occupations incorporate writing and then more? Are runners less athletic because almost all athletes run while performing their other sports' skills?
The takeaway from this for writers is that we have an ability and an enjoyment for writing that most people don't have. Anyone can run. Few people love to do it so much that they commemorate a fatal run by getting together in large groups and see if they can go the distance, make good time, and not die. Non-writers need us. To convey the message. Nenikekamen!
When I've tutored students (mostly college) in writing their papers, or virtually any homework that involved the use of at least four punctuation marks, one common difficulty stuck out. They didn't want to write. I was brought in not so that I could pull their teeth out, but so that I could get a grade that had no bearing on my G.P.A.
They had done all the preparations (research, outlines, references, etc.) and knew what they were writing about. A few of them even had first drafts that they were trying to revise from their teacher's notes.
What did they need me for?
After about ten minutes, they got the drift that I wasn't going to do their work like some Brian-from-Breakfast-Club-left-hanging-with-a-sheet-of-paper-whilst-everyone-else-was-hooking-up. I've read enough to know that everyone has a particular way of writing. Their own lexicon, sentence structure, and tone. Voice. Any teacher, especially English professors, would know from the first paragraph who authored the paper.
Remarkably few students got reinvested and stuck it out, with me helping, to finish the whole paper. Most of them just saw how I kick started them and excused me as they took care of the rest.
All of us had to write papers going through school. Effective communication is a highly prized job skill across the board. Not all of us had to take singing classes, though we all use our voice. (I guess few care how we sing in the car.)
So why do all disciplines require a high degree of proficiency in a skill set from one particular occupation? Is being a writer somehow "less" because so many other occupations incorporate writing and then more? Are runners less athletic because almost all athletes run while performing their other sports' skills?
The takeaway from this for writers is that we have an ability and an enjoyment for writing that most people don't have. Anyone can run. Few people love to do it so much that they commemorate a fatal run by getting together in large groups and see if they can go the distance, make good time, and not die. Non-writers need us. To convey the message. Nenikekamen!
02 December, 2011
What We Have Here is a Failure...
Family on Friday!!!
As everyone over the age of Sesame Street can tell you, communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. This blog has already touched upon communication during the Table Time series, but table time is more than communication and communication goes beyond table time.
Familial relationships can suffer the most during a communication breakdown. Walls are naturally and appropriately built between generations. Spouses fall prey to the fallacy that they already know everything there is to know about one another. Siblings come to a point where they don't want everything to be known about them. Now that's all well and good, but... everything in moderation.
Habitual non-communication can lead to misunderstandings can lead to distrust can lead to injury can lead to a family not being a family. The longer you allow the bad communication to take over, the harder it will be to get back on track. If you're coming up with ideas of what you can do better rather than what other family members need to do, you're off to a good start.
Children that see their parents communicating effectively are more likely to communicate willingly. Would you open up to a boss that has a reputation for getting too upset, responding harshly, or talking when they should be listening? I mean if you didn't have to.
If you'll permit me to generalize on gender types: Women need to stop with the attitude that they shouldn't have to verbalize and that the other person should just know. Men need to stop thinking that asking for help or discussing emotions emasculates them in some way.
The more we can all recognize that other people are separate beings with separate lives, bridged through relationships created by communication, and that we are all people experiencing ninety-five percent (my own completely arbitrary figure pulled out of thin air with no statistical backing) identical circumstances, then the easier it will be to throw gender types out the window and just be ourselves.
Opening up the pathways of communication will rectify a wide range of ills. Try it. All you have to lose are those misconceptions your family may have of you.
As everyone over the age of Sesame Street can tell you, communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. This blog has already touched upon communication during the Table Time series, but table time is more than communication and communication goes beyond table time.
Familial relationships can suffer the most during a communication breakdown. Walls are naturally and appropriately built between generations. Spouses fall prey to the fallacy that they already know everything there is to know about one another. Siblings come to a point where they don't want everything to be known about them. Now that's all well and good, but... everything in moderation.
Habitual non-communication can lead to misunderstandings can lead to distrust can lead to injury can lead to a family not being a family. The longer you allow the bad communication to take over, the harder it will be to get back on track. If you're coming up with ideas of what you can do better rather than what other family members need to do, you're off to a good start.
Children that see their parents communicating effectively are more likely to communicate willingly. Would you open up to a boss that has a reputation for getting too upset, responding harshly, or talking when they should be listening? I mean if you didn't have to.
If you'll permit me to generalize on gender types: Women need to stop with the attitude that they shouldn't have to verbalize and that the other person should just know. Men need to stop thinking that asking for help or discussing emotions emasculates them in some way.
The more we can all recognize that other people are separate beings with separate lives, bridged through relationships created by communication, and that we are all people experiencing ninety-five percent (my own completely arbitrary figure pulled out of thin air with no statistical backing) identical circumstances, then the easier it will be to throw gender types out the window and just be ourselves.
Opening up the pathways of communication will rectify a wide range of ills. Try it. All you have to lose are those misconceptions your family may have of you.
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