09 March, 2012

And In This Corner... Part IV

Family on Friday!!!

Sometimes being a parent means being a good actor(ess).  Not breaking character by falling over laughing when the little one trips and face plants into the dozen eggs they were carrying (unless you're making a video for a nationally broadcast television show, which, for some bizarre reason, makes it socially acceptable).  Not dancing around like a maniac in front of their friends when you learn they have been excelling in high school (betraying their apathetic domestic zombification).

And not raging in their face like carnage incarnate because you just can't sit through one more presentation of why a bunny, kitty, puppy, piggy, pony, piercing, tattoo, and/or motorcycle would be an essential part of their optimal development.

The litmus test of whether you are being angry or acting angry is your level of control.  For the record, hitting, throwing, screaming, slamming, and/or squeezing would count as being angry - loss of control.  The best actors(esses) out there can use subtle facial expressions, a stern tone of voice, deliberate wording, and fierce eye contact to let everyone know that the tiger is gnawing at the lock - but is controlled.

You may want to go berserk.  And very likely on someone else's kid.  Or some kid's parent.  Don't.  When you lose control of your anger, you lose control of the whole situation.  Remember, the anger you're feeling and the decisions you have made (even if they're wrong) all come from love.

Perhaps that old china cabinet was sitting around, waiting for an excuse to be thrown out.  That doesn't mean you should shrug it off when it breaks.  No hockey in the house means no hockey in the house.  Act angry.  Next time, it might be that custom-made hutch you haven't even half-paid for.

Hold back your real anger and just act out enough anger to get the message across.  Your kids learn by valuable example of how you conduct yourself with your extreme emotions.  Speaking of learning, next week I'll try to wrap the series up with why it's important to have arguments and confrontations with your kids.

No comments: